There are moments when I kick myself for not having made the effort to learn Russian, past the the basics of “1kg of tomatoes please” or “where are the green peppers”, which actually comes out as “where green peppers” when I say it. The ability to mime animal noises (learnt from buying meat) doesn’t help either in certain circumstances.
Dealing with our rental agency is one of those moments. Like this morning, when I was being yelled at by the maintenance man to fetch a bucket to drain the radiator (I had been waiting for him since the heating was switched on – that was mid October), and then being yelled at again because my bucket was too big. Not being able to tell him to wind his neck in, in his own language was a sure disability on my part.
And sometimes it can be a bit painful when I have to express myself in extended gestures and stretched out explanations in simple English when one or two Russian words would do. For example yesterday, reminding the agency next door that we needed aforementioned radiators fixed:
ludmilla: where you go these weeks?
me: I was away.
ludmilla: away. Holiday?
me: no, not really.
ludmilla: where you go?
me: to Africa.
ludmilla: Africa! Why you in Africa?
me: because my father lived there and he died so I went for his funeral.
ludmilla: which country?
me: Zimbabwe.
ludmilla: why Zimbabwe?
me: because my father lived there but he died.
ludmilla: died? What is died?
me: dead. He is dead.
ludmilla: dead?
me: yes, dead! You know – dead (in desperation I do the motion of a finger slicing across my throat with tongue out to mimic being dead).
ludmilla: ah! Dead! I see.
me: so, can we get our radiators fixed?
